Why this blog?

My entire adult life I have balanced on the edge of the overweight border (BMI 25). Mostly below, sometimes above. My happiest weight was 64kg (141lbs), but I think for the last period before my first pregnancy I weighed about 66kg (145.5lbs). I was content with that. Oh and for the record my height is 165cm (5'5").

Then I had kids. I ballooned to 90kg (198lbs) with my first pregnancy and got back down to 73kg (161lbs) pretty soon after. When I had my son I went up to 85kg (187lbs) and now I am stuck at 76.5kg (168.6lbs). It is time to reclaim my body. I've just recently finished breastfeeding my son so there's nothing standing in my way anymore.

Why do I want to lose weight? It's not health reasons per se. I consider myself a healthy person right now; I think it's totally possible to be overweight and healthy. I eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and drink enough water. I am also active: I commute to work by bicycle and exercise several times a week (jogging, Zumba, badminton). Off course next to the fruit and veg I eat plenty of other stuff too, hence the post baby flab that is not shifting.

It's mostly a control issue. Weight gain is a slippery slope and I don't want to wake up one day weighing 82kg (180lbs) and being classified as obese. And that's when I think health issues will start to pop up.

And then there's vanity. I do think I look OK right now. I am lucky to be blessed with an hour glass figure. But my ass is too big; my belly and arms are flabby. I feel OK, but I don't feel pretty and I want to feel pretty again.

Two weeks ago I already made some small changes: I stopped the mindless grazing. I noticed I was putting things in my mouth without even thinking, and those were most certainly not fruit and veggies. My employer provides cookies - to go with our coffee - every morning and afternoon. They are placed next to the coffee machine. It's so easy to grab one and not even think about that. My other downfall is grabbing a bag of potato chips in the evening when I'm watching TV. Once I pop I can't stop, and I needed to cut that out too. So far that's been going fine, I don't really feel deprived at all. In the weekends I have slipped a little bit, but got back on track without looking back.

However it doesn't seem to be enough. I feel like I need more accountability. How will I approach that? I have not made a fixed decision yet but I'm thinking about counting Weight Watchers Points. I've done it in the past and really liked it. I am not gonna join official meetings for now. My schedule is already so crazy. I don't see how I could ever fit it in. Maybe I'll sign up for WW online after a while but first I want to try it on my own. I don't plan to share too much about how many points I'm eating etc. This blog will serve mainly as a place to write down my thoughts and musings on food, dieting, weight loss and body image in general. I do plan on adding progress pictures and statistics as a motivational tool . I can't do that yet because our scale is broken. When we get a new one I will make sure to post them.

My goal is to weigh 64kg (141lbs) again. That would give me a BMI of 23.5 which I think is perfect. But I am not setting any deadline for that. If the weight comes off slowly that's fine by me.

I don't know if anyone will read this blog. Right now it's more for myself than anything else. Anyone who wants to come along for the ride is free to join.